Right of Way

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Sometimes I get carried away and forget to yield to others. I get wrapped up in what I want and think, I fail to pay attention to people who are smarter than I am. This almost never happens when I am spending money. It rarely happens when I am driving. It always happens when I tend to lean towards drama. I had  a recent experience in which I did this. Again. I was so angry, I forgot to allow myself to breathe and let whatever will be, happen. Someone brought me up short and helped me realise what an absolute idiot I was being. 

These people are hard blessings. They show me I am not the most important thing in the world and remind me where I need to be standing. With mom, I need to be aware my interpretations of information are most likely wrong. Health personnel and specialists know more than I do. What is in my notes are accurate renderings in a crazed short hand format. 

Her health does appear to be improving. Her cancer, she is sure is gone again. She desires to live alone in her house. This is what she wants and what should be worked for. Complete independence is a goal which she and her doctors find doable. I didn’t want to see her being alone again, yet this is where my drama and wants got in the way of what should happen. So many people who need apologised to! 

Thank you for helping me get back to the right of way. Even if it took me such a long time to see what I was doing! 

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2 thoughts on “Right of Way

  1. These are such tough decisions to even consider, let alone actually make and then deal with the consequences. We all want ‘quality of life’ for family and friends yet we also want them to be safe and have good care. Trying to balance these desires with the needs of older family and friends really does become a tightrope act and often there are no truly ‘best’ solutions. A dear friend told me the best I could do was ‘act from the heart’ when dealing with a situation similar to yours, Kris, involving my Mom. She had begun her descent into the Hell that is Alzheimer’s yet she wanted to remain living in the home she and Dad built in 1952. She was adamantly opposed to moving into an assisted living facility so we tried leaving her at home with 24 x 7 care. This didn’t work out as Mom was very lonely and the costs were exorbitant. In the end my sister and I had to basically force Mom into the best of the assisted living facilities we’d toured. At first Mom hated it but she slowly made some friends and began to get into the rhythm of the place. Sadly, within ten months she was living in the ‘Terrace’ which was the secure portion of facility for the memory impaired. By this point Mom was past caring about where she lived as Alzheimer’s was reaping its terrible toll. Just do the best you can and always act from the heart; in the end it may not make a situation ‘good’ but you will struggle with much less guilt and you will know you did the best you could do for your Mom and yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. These words are a comfort. Thank you! I have shared them with others already and you are right. What is in my heart to do is the best spot to look.

      Like

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